It's a Friday night, not even 10 PM yet, and yours truly is sitting here in her pajamas. And do you know what is really pathetic? I changed into my pj's two hours ago. Can we say LOSER??? Sadly, I had to work this evening, preparing for an all day training that I have to give tomorrow. Can you detect my excitement in this post? While going over the training stuff for tomorrow, my only consolation was this nice glass of merlot that I was imbibing in. As enjoyable this glass of wine was, I forgot about the fact that wine makes me incredibly drowsy. Fortunately however, I think I have a semblance of an idea of what I will be presenting tomorrow.
Time for bed.
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Conversaton of the Day
My roomate, Irishgirl, is an after school program director for an inner-city ministry here. Earlier this morning she shared with me what her program kids were going to be doing this afternoon.
Irishgirl: This afternoon the firemen are coming to program.........
Me: Oh yeah? That sounds like "fun". *big smile*
Irishgirl: It should be quite eventful. *smiles back*
Me: *Smirking* So.......are they bringing their hoses?
Irishgirl: *shakes head and rolls her eyes*
Me: *laughter ensues *
PAUSE...........
Irishgirl: Yep....they're gonna let us play with their hoses this afternoon.
Me: *feigns shocked look*
Irishgirl: *with much laughter* Joy, you knew that was coming......you were so asking for that.
Now, why would l'il ole me want to bring in these types of innuendos to a nice, clean conversation? I'm a good girl, I am.
Irishgirl: This afternoon the firemen are coming to program.........
Me: Oh yeah? That sounds like "fun". *big smile*
Irishgirl: It should be quite eventful. *smiles back*
Me: *Smirking* So.......are they bringing their hoses?
Irishgirl: *shakes head and rolls her eyes*
Me: *laughter ensues *
PAUSE...........
Irishgirl: Yep....they're gonna let us play with their hoses this afternoon.
Me: *feigns shocked look*
Irishgirl: *with much laughter* Joy, you knew that was coming......you were so asking for that.
Now, why would l'il ole me want to bring in these types of innuendos to a nice, clean conversation? I'm a good girl, I am.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
I Need You.........
I need you.........to help me
I need you.........to do this for me
I need you.........to tell me
I need you.........to listen to me
I need you.........to take the hurt away from me
I need you.........to be there for me
I need you.........to protect me
I need you.........to be strong for me
I need you.........to be my voice
I need you.........to make things easier for me
I need you.........to help me understand
I need you.........to explain this to me
I need you.........to love me
I need you.........I need you........I need you............
These are voices and messages that have been perpetually playing over and over again in all areas of my life this week. And in all honesty, it has been incredibly draining. Is it only Wednesday? I feel like I've been sucked dry, always giving...never really taking. Admitting my weakness is scary because I want to be strong for people I really care about. And the thing is, I am nowhere near being strong because sometimes I still feel like this little girl, playing pretend in an adult world.
I need you.........to do this for me
I need you.........to tell me
I need you.........to listen to me
I need you.........to take the hurt away from me
I need you.........to be there for me
I need you.........to protect me
I need you.........to be strong for me
I need you.........to be my voice
I need you.........to make things easier for me
I need you.........to help me understand
I need you.........to explain this to me
I need you.........to love me
I need you.........I need you........I need you............
These are voices and messages that have been perpetually playing over and over again in all areas of my life this week. And in all honesty, it has been incredibly draining. Is it only Wednesday? I feel like I've been sucked dry, always giving...never really taking. Admitting my weakness is scary because I want to be strong for people I really care about. And the thing is, I am nowhere near being strong because sometimes I still feel like this little girl, playing pretend in an adult world.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Cogitate
It began as what seemed like a game,
Quips volleying back and forth,
A smirk here, a chuckle there.
He doesn't know.
It progressed to what seemed like play,
Your turn, then my turn, your turn again,
A giggle here, a titter there.
They didn't know.
It evolved into an state of interest
Theories spewed and possibilities wondered
Curiosity here, distractions there.
She doesn't know.
It is developing into something more
Words spoken and butterfly feelings.
Laughter here, smiles over there.
Do they need to know?
Quips volleying back and forth,
A smirk here, a chuckle there.
He doesn't know.
It progressed to what seemed like play,
Your turn, then my turn, your turn again,
A giggle here, a titter there.
They didn't know.
It evolved into an state of interest
Theories spewed and possibilities wondered
Curiosity here, distractions there.
She doesn't know.
It is developing into something more
Words spoken and butterfly feelings.
Laughter here, smiles over there.
Do they need to know?
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Yay.......100.
Am I already at my 100th post? Wow. It only took me a year to get this far. Well in lieu of my 100th post, I will finish off what Naive No More started when she was my guest blogger a few weeks ago. So, without further adieu, I shall post a version of my "Hundreds".
1. I was conceived in and eventually born in the Philippines.
2. I grew up in the west coast of Canada.
3. I sucked my thumb until I was five years old.
4. When I was 6 years old, I wanted to be Wonder Woman.
5. When I was 6 years old, I had Wonder Woman underoos.
6. My parents made me take piano lessons from the time I was 5 until I was 15 years old.
7. Looking outside my window, it's a clear day and I have a view of the sky scrapers in center city Philadelphia.
8. When I was 6 years old, my best friend at the time and I would pee in the back yard and make mud pies from it.
9. My maternal uncle taught me how to play tennis when I was 10 year old.
10. I hated going through puberty.
11. When I was 14 years old I had this really nasty fight with my mom one evening. I ran out of the house and wandered around the neighborhood until I got tired and ended up hiding out on our back porch. My parents, much to their relief found me back there at around 2 AM........along with the cops they called.
12. When my brother and I were younger, on hot summer nights, we would sleep on the balcony facing the back yard, along with mom and dad, under the stars.
13. When I was 16 years old, I went on my first short-term missions trip to Tijuana, Mexico.
14. I drove my parents' cherry red, four door volvo during my senior year in high school.
15. One of my favorite summers was the one before I entered into the eighth grade.
16. I swallowed a penny when I was 7 years old.
17. My brother and I fought like cats and dogs when we were in high school.
18. I was in love with the same boy all throughout high school.
19. My favorite Jane Austen novel is "Pride and Prejudice".
20. I used to sing in a children's choir at church.
21. My roomate thinks I should pursue singing......NOT.
22. I ended up here in the east coast as a result of Bruce Main lecturing in one of my sociology classes during my junior year of college.
23. I wanted to marry "The Ricker" when I as 10 years old.
24. No matter where I am or how late it is, I always have to read before I go to sleep.
25. I think daisies are pretty flowers
26. "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful." Jeremiah 31:3,4
27. I almost went blind in my right eye when I was 18 years old.
28. Flying in airplanes used to terrify me.
29. I love playing beach volleyball.
30. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to the boy I dated in college.
31. One of my favorite summer jobs while in college was working at a children's bookstore.
32. Give me a pint of Michelob Ultra, and I'm a happy girl.
33. Give me a Diet Coke with lime and I am an equally happy girl.
34. I almost went to a bible college in Saskatchewan after I graduated from high school. Thank God I didn't.
35. I've been to San Diego, CA, 12 times so far.
36. When I was about 8 years old, my favorite movie was the musical, Annie. My younger cousins and I would try to re-enact the musical in the living room; of course, I always got the part of Annie.
37. One of my favorite places in NYC is Central Park.
38. I would love to have a Mark Rothko original.
39. I hate using dirty, nasty, toilets.
40. It took me an hour and a half to hike up the Grouse Grind.
41. Next month, my parents will be celebrating their 34th wedding anniversary.
42. BFF and I went on a road trip down the Oregon coast, the summer before my senior year in college. We camped, went dune buggying, had weinie roasts and s'mores at night, and then towards the end of our trip we made a pitt stop in Portland and went shopping at Clackamus mall. I bought carpenter overalls at the Gap.
43. I have become a sudoku junkie.
44. I lived in South Dakota for a year.
45. It will have been two years ago this month that my grandmother passed away.
46. When I lived in South Dakota, friends of mine had a yellow lab who gave birth to a litter of puppies. I decided to pick one up as a Christmas gift for my parents. We named her Dakota. She had to be put down on the exact same day as my grandmother passed away.
47. My dream is to own a children's bookstore one day.
48. I can watch "You've Got Mail" over and over again and not get tired of it.
49. When I visited my friend in San Francisco, we rode on an old Fire Engine to tour the city.
50. I've taken the train cross country twice.
51. I love peppermint scented candles.
52. Last year my roomates and I spent a few days in Las Vegas......."what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
53. I can say that, even with their quirks and idiosyncrasies, I truly love my parents.
54. Reading is my choice of preference over watching TV.
55. I fell in love with kayaking two years ago.
56. I *heart* NYC in the fall.
57. After have made numerous trips out to NYC, last October I went up the Empire State building for the first time. We climbed the last six floors up.
58. Hormone Happy Boy's mom is my most favorite aunt in the whole wide world.
59. My faith in Christ is one of the most important things to me.
60. Am I almost finished with this hundreds list yet???
61. When I was in high school, some of the kids in my church youth group and I would drive out to Beaver Lake, located in Stanley Park, in the middle of the night and freak ourselves out walking through the woods around the lake. The location was where Stephen King's "It" was filmed.
62. I loooooooove books.
63. Judy Blume's "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret", gave me that first glimpse into the wonderful world of puberty when I was 9 years old.
64. I regret not fighting for the relationship to work.
65. One of my favorite photographers is Ansel Adams.
66. One of these days, I am either going hike or ride an ass down the Grand Canyon.
67. My most favorite dessert shoppe in NYC is Serendipity3.
68. Camping is one of my favorite pasttimes.
69. Years ago, we backpacked it up the Chief Mountain in Squamish. I remember living on spam, carrots, and bread for three days.
70. The summer before my big move to the east coast, my cousins and I hiked up and then down the Chief Mountain. I couldn't walk for the next three days.
71. I played the flute when I was in high school.
72. When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be a world famous gymnast like Nadia Comaneci. That obviously didn't happen.
73. I was deprived from owning a Cabbage Patch Kid as a child.
74. I am hoping to adopt a dog sometime in the next year. Hopefully a golden retriever?!?!
75. Everyday I drive over the Ben Franklin Bridge to get to my job in Philly.
76. Extreme cold bothers me.
77. Extreme heat and humidity bothers me even more.
78. This is starting to get lame. .
79. Are you bord yet?
80. My goal this year is to run in the Jefferson Hospital Philadelphia Distance run. (We'll see if it actually comes to fruition, as it was also my goal last year. Never happened.)
81. I've seen Holly Cole live, 3 times at the Orpheum Theatre.
82. I love to laugh.....not just the wimpy kind of ha ha laughter, but the raucous kind of laughter. Make me laugh and I will love you forever.
83. I love my job, but it does not define who I am as an individual.
84. God has blessed me with a wonderful group of friends who have seen me go through the ups and downs of life and have amazingly stuck by me even with my crazy and quirky ways.
85. High Tea is one of my guilty pleasures.
86. Whenever I'm in Seattle, I make it a point to browse through Pike's Market and purchase a huge bouquet of flowers in one of the flower stalls.
87. I am a shoe whore.
88. One of my favorite children's series is The Chronicles of Narnia. I could read these books over and over again.
89. The first time I went sea-dooing was on the Missouri river. IT FREAKED ME OUT!!!
90. I have a low tolerance for alcohol......and it's provided many evenings of amusement for my roomates and friends, at my expense.
91. Thank the good Lord that this list is almost complete.
92. The era of Baroque music is my favorite in the history of classical music.
93. Pachebel Canon in D is one of my favorite Baroque pieces.
94. Lying to me once is all it takes to break my trust; although I am able to forgive, building up that trust will take a very long time.
95. I loooooove sushi.
96. Wine makes me sleepy.
97. Burt's Bees products is also one of my guilty pleasures.
98. I love Jesus. Really. I do.
99. He really hurt me two years ago.....I was never the same thereafter.
100. I am currently in a state of confusion.
Well folks, there you have it - my "Hundred" list. I know these kind of lists can be quite arduous to read and so if you actually got through it, then congratulations: You discovered some new things about me. Now your life is complete and you can finally use public bathrooms.
And as for me.....I'm going to bed.
1. I was conceived in and eventually born in the Philippines.
2. I grew up in the west coast of Canada.
3. I sucked my thumb until I was five years old.
4. When I was 6 years old, I wanted to be Wonder Woman.
5. When I was 6 years old, I had Wonder Woman underoos.
6. My parents made me take piano lessons from the time I was 5 until I was 15 years old.
7. Looking outside my window, it's a clear day and I have a view of the sky scrapers in center city Philadelphia.
8. When I was 6 years old, my best friend at the time and I would pee in the back yard and make mud pies from it.
9. My maternal uncle taught me how to play tennis when I was 10 year old.
10. I hated going through puberty.
11. When I was 14 years old I had this really nasty fight with my mom one evening. I ran out of the house and wandered around the neighborhood until I got tired and ended up hiding out on our back porch. My parents, much to their relief found me back there at around 2 AM........along with the cops they called.
12. When my brother and I were younger, on hot summer nights, we would sleep on the balcony facing the back yard, along with mom and dad, under the stars.
13. When I was 16 years old, I went on my first short-term missions trip to Tijuana, Mexico.
14. I drove my parents' cherry red, four door volvo during my senior year in high school.
15. One of my favorite summers was the one before I entered into the eighth grade.
16. I swallowed a penny when I was 7 years old.
17. My brother and I fought like cats and dogs when we were in high school.
18. I was in love with the same boy all throughout high school.
19. My favorite Jane Austen novel is "Pride and Prejudice".
20. I used to sing in a children's choir at church.
21. My roomate thinks I should pursue singing......NOT.
22. I ended up here in the east coast as a result of Bruce Main lecturing in one of my sociology classes during my junior year of college.
23. I wanted to marry "The Ricker" when I as 10 years old.
24. No matter where I am or how late it is, I always have to read before I go to sleep.
25. I think daisies are pretty flowers
26. "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful." Jeremiah 31:3,4
27. I almost went blind in my right eye when I was 18 years old.
28. Flying in airplanes used to terrify me.
29. I love playing beach volleyball.
30. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to the boy I dated in college.
31. One of my favorite summer jobs while in college was working at a children's bookstore.
32. Give me a pint of Michelob Ultra, and I'm a happy girl.
33. Give me a Diet Coke with lime and I am an equally happy girl.
34. I almost went to a bible college in Saskatchewan after I graduated from high school. Thank God I didn't.
35. I've been to San Diego, CA, 12 times so far.
36. When I was about 8 years old, my favorite movie was the musical, Annie. My younger cousins and I would try to re-enact the musical in the living room; of course, I always got the part of Annie.
37. One of my favorite places in NYC is Central Park.
38. I would love to have a Mark Rothko original.
39. I hate using dirty, nasty, toilets.
40. It took me an hour and a half to hike up the Grouse Grind.
41. Next month, my parents will be celebrating their 34th wedding anniversary.
42. BFF and I went on a road trip down the Oregon coast, the summer before my senior year in college. We camped, went dune buggying, had weinie roasts and s'mores at night, and then towards the end of our trip we made a pitt stop in Portland and went shopping at Clackamus mall. I bought carpenter overalls at the Gap.
43. I have become a sudoku junkie.
44. I lived in South Dakota for a year.
45. It will have been two years ago this month that my grandmother passed away.
46. When I lived in South Dakota, friends of mine had a yellow lab who gave birth to a litter of puppies. I decided to pick one up as a Christmas gift for my parents. We named her Dakota. She had to be put down on the exact same day as my grandmother passed away.
47. My dream is to own a children's bookstore one day.
48. I can watch "You've Got Mail" over and over again and not get tired of it.
49. When I visited my friend in San Francisco, we rode on an old Fire Engine to tour the city.
50. I've taken the train cross country twice.
51. I love peppermint scented candles.
52. Last year my roomates and I spent a few days in Las Vegas......."what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
53. I can say that, even with their quirks and idiosyncrasies, I truly love my parents.
54. Reading is my choice of preference over watching TV.
55. I fell in love with kayaking two years ago.
56. I *heart* NYC in the fall.
57. After have made numerous trips out to NYC, last October I went up the Empire State building for the first time. We climbed the last six floors up.
58. Hormone Happy Boy's mom is my most favorite aunt in the whole wide world.
59. My faith in Christ is one of the most important things to me.
60. Am I almost finished with this hundreds list yet???
61. When I was in high school, some of the kids in my church youth group and I would drive out to Beaver Lake, located in Stanley Park, in the middle of the night and freak ourselves out walking through the woods around the lake. The location was where Stephen King's "It" was filmed.
62. I loooooooove books.
63. Judy Blume's "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret", gave me that first glimpse into the wonderful world of puberty when I was 9 years old.
64. I regret not fighting for the relationship to work.
65. One of my favorite photographers is Ansel Adams.
66. One of these days, I am either going hike or ride an ass down the Grand Canyon.
67. My most favorite dessert shoppe in NYC is Serendipity3.
68. Camping is one of my favorite pasttimes.
69. Years ago, we backpacked it up the Chief Mountain in Squamish. I remember living on spam, carrots, and bread for three days.
70. The summer before my big move to the east coast, my cousins and I hiked up and then down the Chief Mountain. I couldn't walk for the next three days.
71. I played the flute when I was in high school.
72. When I was 10 years old, I wanted to be a world famous gymnast like Nadia Comaneci. That obviously didn't happen.
73. I was deprived from owning a Cabbage Patch Kid as a child.
74. I am hoping to adopt a dog sometime in the next year. Hopefully a golden retriever?!?!
75. Everyday I drive over the Ben Franklin Bridge to get to my job in Philly.
76. Extreme cold bothers me.
77. Extreme heat and humidity bothers me even more.
78. This is starting to get lame. .
79. Are you bord yet?
80. My goal this year is to run in the Jefferson Hospital Philadelphia Distance run. (We'll see if it actually comes to fruition, as it was also my goal last year. Never happened.)
81. I've seen Holly Cole live, 3 times at the Orpheum Theatre.
82. I love to laugh.....not just the wimpy kind of ha ha laughter, but the raucous kind of laughter. Make me laugh and I will love you forever.
83. I love my job, but it does not define who I am as an individual.
84. God has blessed me with a wonderful group of friends who have seen me go through the ups and downs of life and have amazingly stuck by me even with my crazy and quirky ways.
85. High Tea is one of my guilty pleasures.
86. Whenever I'm in Seattle, I make it a point to browse through Pike's Market and purchase a huge bouquet of flowers in one of the flower stalls.
87. I am a shoe whore.
88. One of my favorite children's series is The Chronicles of Narnia. I could read these books over and over again.
89. The first time I went sea-dooing was on the Missouri river. IT FREAKED ME OUT!!!
90. I have a low tolerance for alcohol......and it's provided many evenings of amusement for my roomates and friends, at my expense.
91. Thank the good Lord that this list is almost complete.
92. The era of Baroque music is my favorite in the history of classical music.
93. Pachebel Canon in D is one of my favorite Baroque pieces.
94. Lying to me once is all it takes to break my trust; although I am able to forgive, building up that trust will take a very long time.
95. I loooooove sushi.
96. Wine makes me sleepy.
97. Burt's Bees products is also one of my guilty pleasures.
98. I love Jesus. Really. I do.
99. He really hurt me two years ago.....I was never the same thereafter.
100. I am currently in a state of confusion.
Well folks, there you have it - my "Hundred" list. I know these kind of lists can be quite arduous to read and so if you actually got through it, then congratulations: You discovered some new things about me. Now your life is complete and you can finally use public bathrooms.
And as for me.....I'm going to bed.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
This Is What You Shall Do......
My creative juices aren't flowing right now and so I'll be using someone else's: Walt Whitman. I love this piece written by Whitman because it embodies how I want to live my life.
this is what you shall do: love the earth and
sun, and the animals, despise riches, give alms
to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid
and crazy, devote your income and labor to
others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning god,
have patience and indulgence toward the people,
take off your hat to nothing known or unknown
or to any man or number of men, go freely with
powerful uneducated persons and with the young
and with the mothers of families, read these
leaves in the open air every season of every
year of your life, re-examine all you have been
told at school or church or in any book,
dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and
your very flesh shall be a great poem. . .
-walt whitman
this is what you shall do: love the earth and
sun, and the animals, despise riches, give alms
to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid
and crazy, devote your income and labor to
others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning god,
have patience and indulgence toward the people,
take off your hat to nothing known or unknown
or to any man or number of men, go freely with
powerful uneducated persons and with the young
and with the mothers of families, read these
leaves in the open air every season of every
year of your life, re-examine all you have been
told at school or church or in any book,
dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and
your very flesh shall be a great poem. . .
-walt whitman
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Crap, Crap, Crap
Sometimes I don't know why I do what I do.
This afternoon was crap.
I hate letting other people down.
I need to let this go.
This afternoon was crap.
I hate letting other people down.
I need to let this go.
Monday, March 20, 2006
DAM #2 + My Favorite Things #3 = Sheer Stupidity
This is a Sonicare Elite 7500. It's got this neat smartimer which is the automatic shut-off feature that helps encourage you to brush for 2 minutes, which is the dental professional recommended brushing time.
It's also got Dual Speed Control which lets you set the brushing power. The normal speed for optimal plaque removal and reduced speed for gentle cleaning.
It has a slim, angled neck and contoured brush head which makes it easier to clean hard-to-reach places.
Most importantly, it cleans and whitens teeth, removes plaque, improves gum health and significantly reduces gingivitis.
I know.....I sound like some cheesey salesperson, trying to hock off her wares. And y'all are probably wondering where I am going with this. The thing is, I own this wonderful toothbrush and ever since I purchased it about two years ago (at cost, mind you, from my dental hygienist cousin), I have never looked back at a regular toothbrush again.
Call me the Sonicare Elite 7500 Whore.
I raved and raved over this toothbrush so much in my house that Irishgirl and PAgirl decided to purchase one for themselves. And of course, they too, were hooked.
So now the three of use have the same electric toothbrush and so of course, we have wisely marked each toothbrush in order to prevent the mistake of accidently using the other's. Great idea, right?
Last weekend I was in north Jersey, hanging out with BFF and our other mutual friend, TheRev. Of course I packed my handy Sonicare Elite 7500. I never go away without it. When I came home on Sunday morning, in the midst of unpacking my toiletry bag, I took out the case that held my Sonicare Elite 7500 in and placed it on the bathroom sink. I went back into my room to do more unpacking before taking a shower. After my shower I proceeded to brush my teeth, and mind you it felt so good to clean my teeth, especially since I did not get a chance to brush my teeth the night before (had a few glasses of shiraz, and well.....you know how it is). As I finished brushing my teeth, I looked down on the bathroom sink, only to discover that my Sonicare Elite 7500 electric toothbrush case still sitting there.
WITH MY TOOTHBRUSH STILL INSIDE IT.
My Dumb Ass self forgot that her own Sonicare Elite 7500 was still in its case and therefore, ended up using PAgirl's Sonicare Elite 7500.
And the twisted thing is, I still haven't told her.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Enough
Enough - Christ Tomlin
All of you, is more than enough for, all of me,
For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me, with your love,
And all I have of you is more than enough.
You’re my supply, my breath of life, still more awesome than I know,
You’re my reward, worth living for, still more awesome than I know.
And all of you, is more than enough for all of me,
For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me, with your love,
And all I have of you is more than enough.
You’re my sacrifice of greatest price, still more awesome than I know,
You’re my coming king, you are everything, still more awesome than I know,
And all of you, is more than enough for, all of me,
For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me, with your love,
And all I have of you is more than enough.
Bridge:
More than all I want, more than all I need,
Yea, You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know, more than all I can see
You are more than enough for me.
All of you, is more than enough for, all of me,
For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me, with your love,
And all I have of you is more than enough.
You’re my supply, my breath of life, still more awesome than I know,
You’re my reward, worth living for, still more awesome than I know.
And all of you, is more than enough for all of me,
For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me, with your love,
And all I have of you is more than enough.
You’re my sacrifice of greatest price, still more awesome than I know,
You’re my coming king, you are everything, still more awesome than I know,
And all of you, is more than enough for, all of me,
For every thirst and every need,
You satisfy me, with your love,
And all I have of you is more than enough.
Bridge:
More than all I want, more than all I need,
Yea, You are more than enough for me.
More than all I know, more than all I can see
You are more than enough for me.
Friday, March 17, 2006
2003 to Present
With a contrite heart, this is for Mr. Butterfly........
*Names of characters and circumstances have been changed in order to protect the individuals concerned*
Eli and Luke are brothers, one year apart, who have been in the foster care system since they were toddlers. Eli is 7, Luke is 6.
Their birth mother was a crack addict, hauling Eli and Luke from one crack house to another. Using and drinking and using again. In the midst of birth mother's addiction, Eli and Luke would usually bear the brunt of her frustrations and anger. More often than not, both boys were subjected to cigarette burn marks on their arms or buttocks. On good days, it was a smack on the head or a kick in the gut.
Fortunately the department of child welfare got wind of what was transpiring in the home (if one could call the many crack houses they inhabited "home"), an investigation was ensued, allegations were founded, and the boys were placed into the safety of a foster home, where they could get their emotional and physical needs met. The courts decided to terminate Eli and Luke's birth mother's rights a few years later and they immediately became available for adoption. Eli and Luke's foster parents decided to adopt the two boys.
Enter the adoption social worker (ASW).
The adoption social worker started the process of adoption with Eli and Luke's foster parents. But right from the very beginning, ASW, had this niggling feeling in the back of her head, this gut feeling that all was not right. ASW could read it in the boys' body language and their foster parents' "perfect" responses throughout her assessment process with the family. Was it the boys' disheveled appearance or their look of fear everytime ASW entered the home? This was noted by the ASW, who in turn alerted the State of the red flags that were coming up. Eli and Luke's teachers, too, noticed the state the two boys were in, which resulted in another call to the department of child welfare to alert the boys' State social worker of the condition Eli and Luke were in. Meetings were held and another investigation proceeded. The results? It was discovered that Eli and Luke were living in a similar harrowing existence, as when they lived with their birth mother: they were neglected and lacked proper nutrition; left alone with foster mother's incontinent elderly father for hours at a time with the expectation that they were to change elderly father's diapers every time he took a shit; they would walk to and from school in sub-zero weather without gloves or socks on; foster parents fed them lies about their birth family, telling them that they were all dead; and finally, it was discovered that Eli and Luke were being beaten by a brush on their naked flesh in the bathtub when foster parents suspected that they were "talking" to social workers visiting the home or to their teachers, about their "family business". With the adoption process disrupted, Eli and Luke were immediately removed from this foster home and moved into another foster home.
The boys were to never be the same again.
Eli had a breakdown in foster home #2 and eventually had to be hospitalized due to aggressive and self-harming behaviors he was displaying, along with psychotic episodes which started to manifest through these various behaviors. Luke on the other hand was more resilient and was able function "normally".
While all this was transpiring, ASW was working with a loving couple who desperately wanted to adopt children. In ASW's close work with Eli and Luke, there formed an attachment to the boys. ASW wanted for them a safe, loving home where they could be children; instead of the parentified mini-adults they had become.
A thought started to form in ASW's head. Loving Couple......Luke.......Eli........MATCH.
ASW launched visits between Luke and Loving Couple. However, Eli continued to struggle with his behaviors and mental health issues in the hospital. Loving couple instantly fell in love with Luke and an attachment started to form between them. After a summer of day and weekend visits, the big day came for the Loving Couple - they were approved as pre-adoptive parents and Luke moved into their home.
While Eli, continuing to struggle with his behaviors and mental health issues, was moved into a group home.
Luke is an entirely different boy now. He is confident and feels secure....knows what it means to love and be loved.
Eli on the other hand continues to struggle with his anger, his mental health issues, with trust.
Loving Couple hope to finalize Luke's adoption by this summer and ASW is pleased with such a positive result for Luke. A family has been made.
But Eli on the other hand continues struggle with his anger, his losses, and his mental health issues in the group home.
Loving Couple are interested in possibly adopting Eli so the brothers could be together. However, ASW is wary, for both Loving Couple and Eli's sake.
Luke has permanency.
Eli continues to struggle with his anger, with his losses, and with his delusions in the group home.
ASW continues to worry.........
*Names of characters and circumstances have been changed in order to protect the individuals concerned*
Eli and Luke are brothers, one year apart, who have been in the foster care system since they were toddlers. Eli is 7, Luke is 6.
Their birth mother was a crack addict, hauling Eli and Luke from one crack house to another. Using and drinking and using again. In the midst of birth mother's addiction, Eli and Luke would usually bear the brunt of her frustrations and anger. More often than not, both boys were subjected to cigarette burn marks on their arms or buttocks. On good days, it was a smack on the head or a kick in the gut.
Fortunately the department of child welfare got wind of what was transpiring in the home (if one could call the many crack houses they inhabited "home"), an investigation was ensued, allegations were founded, and the boys were placed into the safety of a foster home, where they could get their emotional and physical needs met. The courts decided to terminate Eli and Luke's birth mother's rights a few years later and they immediately became available for adoption. Eli and Luke's foster parents decided to adopt the two boys.
Enter the adoption social worker (ASW).
The adoption social worker started the process of adoption with Eli and Luke's foster parents. But right from the very beginning, ASW, had this niggling feeling in the back of her head, this gut feeling that all was not right. ASW could read it in the boys' body language and their foster parents' "perfect" responses throughout her assessment process with the family. Was it the boys' disheveled appearance or their look of fear everytime ASW entered the home? This was noted by the ASW, who in turn alerted the State of the red flags that were coming up. Eli and Luke's teachers, too, noticed the state the two boys were in, which resulted in another call to the department of child welfare to alert the boys' State social worker of the condition Eli and Luke were in. Meetings were held and another investigation proceeded. The results? It was discovered that Eli and Luke were living in a similar harrowing existence, as when they lived with their birth mother: they were neglected and lacked proper nutrition; left alone with foster mother's incontinent elderly father for hours at a time with the expectation that they were to change elderly father's diapers every time he took a shit; they would walk to and from school in sub-zero weather without gloves or socks on; foster parents fed them lies about their birth family, telling them that they were all dead; and finally, it was discovered that Eli and Luke were being beaten by a brush on their naked flesh in the bathtub when foster parents suspected that they were "talking" to social workers visiting the home or to their teachers, about their "family business". With the adoption process disrupted, Eli and Luke were immediately removed from this foster home and moved into another foster home.
The boys were to never be the same again.
Eli had a breakdown in foster home #2 and eventually had to be hospitalized due to aggressive and self-harming behaviors he was displaying, along with psychotic episodes which started to manifest through these various behaviors. Luke on the other hand was more resilient and was able function "normally".
While all this was transpiring, ASW was working with a loving couple who desperately wanted to adopt children. In ASW's close work with Eli and Luke, there formed an attachment to the boys. ASW wanted for them a safe, loving home where they could be children; instead of the parentified mini-adults they had become.
A thought started to form in ASW's head. Loving Couple......Luke.......Eli........MATCH.
ASW launched visits between Luke and Loving Couple. However, Eli continued to struggle with his behaviors and mental health issues in the hospital. Loving couple instantly fell in love with Luke and an attachment started to form between them. After a summer of day and weekend visits, the big day came for the Loving Couple - they were approved as pre-adoptive parents and Luke moved into their home.
While Eli, continuing to struggle with his behaviors and mental health issues, was moved into a group home.
Luke is an entirely different boy now. He is confident and feels secure....knows what it means to love and be loved.
Eli on the other hand continues to struggle with his anger, his mental health issues, with trust.
Loving Couple hope to finalize Luke's adoption by this summer and ASW is pleased with such a positive result for Luke. A family has been made.
But Eli on the other hand continues struggle with his anger, his losses, and his mental health issues in the group home.
Loving Couple are interested in possibly adopting Eli so the brothers could be together. However, ASW is wary, for both Loving Couple and Eli's sake.
Luke has permanency.
Eli continues to struggle with his anger, with his losses, and with his delusions in the group home.
ASW continues to worry.........
Thursday, March 16, 2006
BA-ACK!
I'm ba-ack!!!! Anyone miss me?
My many thanks to Anonymous Coward, Larissa, Bougie Black Boy, and Naive No More for taking some time off from their own blogs and contributing to my little corner on the blogosphere. I see, though, that AC had a little bit too much fun this morning in here. The punk. ;) Friends, my heartfelt thanks for your thoughtful, funny, and poignant posts, you all are super wonderful!
BFF is still in the east coast, but not with me. She is on her way to DC as I type this. Anyways, I have much to share about our week.....our jaunt through NYC, perusing through the Italian Market in south Philly, exploring Princeton, eating chocolate shaped in a certain anatomical feature, catching up over bottle of wine........I cannot believe how fast this week has gone. BFF comes back from DC this Saturday afternoon and flies back to Vancouver early Sunday morning. I will be so sad to see her go. :(
My many thanks to Anonymous Coward, Larissa, Bougie Black Boy, and Naive No More for taking some time off from their own blogs and contributing to my little corner on the blogosphere. I see, though, that AC had a little bit too much fun this morning in here. The punk. ;) Friends, my heartfelt thanks for your thoughtful, funny, and poignant posts, you all are super wonderful!
BFF is still in the east coast, but not with me. She is on her way to DC as I type this. Anyways, I have much to share about our week.....our jaunt through NYC, perusing through the Italian Market in south Philly, exploring Princeton, eating chocolate shaped in a certain anatomical feature, catching up over bottle of wine........I cannot believe how fast this week has gone. BFF comes back from DC this Saturday afternoon and flies back to Vancouver early Sunday morning. I will be so sad to see her go. :(
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Hey - Looky Here
I just realized that Joy hasn't deleted me from her blog yet. That means that I can post whatever I want without the responsibility of being "Joy For A Day".
I can say things like "poop"
"wankel rotary engine"
"ball washer"
"caboose"
"testicular fortitude"
"Butte, Montana"
"Pianist"
Ahhhhhhhh...............
I can say things like "poop"
"wankel rotary engine"
"ball washer"
"caboose"
"testicular fortitude"
"Butte, Montana"
"Pianist"
Ahhhhhhhh...............
A Scrapbook Page for Joy
JOY
Of course, you'll have to add your own picture Joy. And, I had to make it so I could use the page too.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Racin' for Pinks
I'm the host on tap for today, and am at a loss for any creative impression. This is greatly evidenced by the lack of enthusiasm at my own blog.
Guest hosting is a prestigous honor, one that shouldn't be taken lightly. It's imperative that you "one-up" the previous posters in both charm and witty banter. So you can see the conundrum that I'm worked into here not having anything with teeth - anything of brilliant matter.
In my own experience, it's best just to let writer's block unblock itself through the natural course of time. Any attempt at forcing a notion only prolongs the proverbial dead end. Waiting is not a problem when you aren't responsible for the readership of another person. And as nice as Joy is and would never say anything bad about the job I did here, I certainly don't want to relay her traffice to another race.
So whilst I think of something original, something worth while of Joy quality, something undeniably peppy, please help me start a "Hundreds List" for Joy Joy Bean.
Leave what you know about Joy in the comment section and she can tweek and create as needed to complete her list.
Guest hosting is a prestigous honor, one that shouldn't be taken lightly. It's imperative that you "one-up" the previous posters in both charm and witty banter. So you can see the conundrum that I'm worked into here not having anything with teeth - anything of brilliant matter.
In my own experience, it's best just to let writer's block unblock itself through the natural course of time. Any attempt at forcing a notion only prolongs the proverbial dead end. Waiting is not a problem when you aren't responsible for the readership of another person. And as nice as Joy is and would never say anything bad about the job I did here, I certainly don't want to relay her traffice to another race.
So whilst I think of something original, something worth while of Joy quality, something undeniably peppy, please help me start a "Hundreds List" for Joy Joy Bean.
Leave what you know about Joy in the comment section and she can tweek and create as needed to complete her list.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Road Trip Story #2
Hmmm... I thought I was supposed to be the blogger of the day, but I see that that spot's already been filled. Hey, pressure's off - I can't even keep my own blog current.
But, I will contribute a short road trip story to add to the collection. Well, not really a road trip
since we were on a boat, but you get the point.
Way back in 1999, I was about to graduate from the college I attended near Vancouver when I realized that in the entire 4 years that I had lived on the West coast, I'd never been to Victoria. Joy, being the good sport that she is, agreed to take a little weekend trip with me. Fortunately, we picked one of Vancouver's four sunny weekends of the year, so the 2 hour ferry ride was fantastic. Clear blue skies, mountains in the distance, endless ocean. After a while, all that endless ocean gets a little boring so we went inside to explore the boat.
As usual, the first stop was the food court where we had the Ferry Pak for lunch. I think it's really meant for kids, but the packaging was so cute I had to have it. Chicken fingers and fries all stuffed into a little cardboard replica of the ferry we were on. I was hoping for a little paper sailor hat to go with it, but no dice. After our deep-fried feast we were too stuffed to move, so we spent a large chunk of time (and money!) on the massage recliners that were all over the boat. I think Joy was enjoying the kneading a little too much... I really wish I could find the photograph of her in the chair with the most ecstatic expression on her face.
Once we finally got off the ferry we headed into the city of Victoria. Victoria, for those of you who haven't been there, is located on Vancouver Island and is the capital of British Columbia. It is very British in flavour and there are a million places where you can go and have high tea. We went to Murchie's for a cuppa and a scone. We chatted with a bagpiper outside the Victoria legislative buildings. He posed for some pics with us, but drew the line when I asked him to lie down on the sidewalk. ("We have a piper down. I repeat, the piper is down!")
After a full day of fun, we headed back to Joy's aunt's house and spent the rest of the evening talking in the sun porch with pillows in our shirts, pretending we were pregnant.
But, I will contribute a short road trip story to add to the collection. Well, not really a road trip
since we were on a boat, but you get the point.
Way back in 1999, I was about to graduate from the college I attended near Vancouver when I realized that in the entire 4 years that I had lived on the West coast, I'd never been to Victoria. Joy, being the good sport that she is, agreed to take a little weekend trip with me. Fortunately, we picked one of Vancouver's four sunny weekends of the year, so the 2 hour ferry ride was fantastic. Clear blue skies, mountains in the distance, endless ocean. After a while, all that endless ocean gets a little boring so we went inside to explore the boat.
As usual, the first stop was the food court where we had the Ferry Pak for lunch. I think it's really meant for kids, but the packaging was so cute I had to have it. Chicken fingers and fries all stuffed into a little cardboard replica of the ferry we were on. I was hoping for a little paper sailor hat to go with it, but no dice. After our deep-fried feast we were too stuffed to move, so we spent a large chunk of time (and money!) on the massage recliners that were all over the boat. I think Joy was enjoying the kneading a little too much... I really wish I could find the photograph of her in the chair with the most ecstatic expression on her face.
Once we finally got off the ferry we headed into the city of Victoria. Victoria, for those of you who haven't been there, is located on Vancouver Island and is the capital of British Columbia. It is very British in flavour and there are a million places where you can go and have high tea. We went to Murchie's for a cuppa and a scone. We chatted with a bagpiper outside the Victoria legislative buildings. He posed for some pics with us, but drew the line when I asked him to lie down on the sidewalk. ("We have a piper down. I repeat, the piper is down!")
After a full day of fun, we headed back to Joy's aunt's house and spent the rest of the evening talking in the sun porch with pillows in our shirts, pretending we were pregnant.
Full View: American Art
Thumbing through Joy's blog, I discovered that Joy went to Philly with a friend for the exhibit, Full View: American Painting and Sculpture.
And it's a mere coincidence that I'm the guest blogger for today, and I'm a painter.
This past weekend I received various art magazines in the mail regarding the application of paint, the history, and even how/where to market your work. These magazines were sent to me from my mom, who is also a painter.
As I was on the train, venturing into Manhattan, I read the magazines. But as I flipped through the pages, a few loose pages fell out and onto the floor by my feet. The train was crowded with children and their parents all out (I assume) to enjoy the great weather we were blessed with.
When I bent down to pick up the loose pages that fell, my face became heated with embarrassment. I looked at the people around me -- they all stared-- they all had full view. On several pages were contemporary American erotica drawings. Most of which had women, obese, with gigantic, erect penis penetrating through their stomachs and through their back. And, missile-like yet angelic-like, the base of the penis had wings.
About five of these drawings were at my feet, as I casually picked them up, folded them, placed them in the magazine, pretending not to be distraught. I put the magazine in my bag, closed my eyes and awaited my stop.
And it's a mere coincidence that I'm the guest blogger for today, and I'm a painter.
This past weekend I received various art magazines in the mail regarding the application of paint, the history, and even how/where to market your work. These magazines were sent to me from my mom, who is also a painter.
As I was on the train, venturing into Manhattan, I read the magazines. But as I flipped through the pages, a few loose pages fell out and onto the floor by my feet. The train was crowded with children and their parents all out (I assume) to enjoy the great weather we were blessed with.
When I bent down to pick up the loose pages that fell, my face became heated with embarrassment. I looked at the people around me -- they all stared-- they all had full view. On several pages were contemporary American erotica drawings. Most of which had women, obese, with gigantic, erect penis penetrating through their stomachs and through their back. And, missile-like yet angelic-like, the base of the penis had wings.
About five of these drawings were at my feet, as I casually picked them up, folded them, placed them in the magazine, pretending not to be distraught. I put the magazine in my bag, closed my eyes and awaited my stop.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Obligatory Road Trip Story
In tribute to one of Joy's favorite themes, I want to offer up a road trip story of my own. So I searched my memory bank for something appropriate (Joy's blog is a little more family-friendly than my own so I had to filter out 97% of my road trip stories). Finally I remembered one that was G-rated. OK maybe PG, PG-13 at worst.
My very first family-free road trip involved a won bet, older friends, an amusement park, a case of Mickeys Big Mouths and a comely group of West Virginian lovelies.
My sophomore year most of my friends were a little older - juniors, seniors and recent graduates. We played cards every Tuesday and stakes were known to get a little on the high end (relatively speaking). We started playing one night to kill time before we went to sleep out to get Pink Floyd concert tickets. Things started out really really bad for me - I went from a full wallet down to my ticket money + one lousy dollar. That's right - one stinkin' dollar. I sat out the next few hands figuring it's just not my night. But then I figured if I'm going to go bust, then I'm going bust and threw in my dollar (the buy-in for one hand). I won that hand. Then the next. Then the next. And so on and so on and so on. Next thing you know I was up seventy five bucks. I was cleaning out everyone. IOU's started flying until it was down to me and one other guy. He was busted but threw a bigun out on the table - he bet a weekend road trip to a nameless amusement park against my $50 bucks.
I was in. And I won.
Two weeks later we load up his car and enough beer to kill a pack of Clydedale's. Several hours later we're at a dirty Motel 6 and hanging out at the pool.
Enter four WV female road trippers. Conversations are struck up, jokes are told, charm is poured on. Things were going well.
Then they left.
I was crushed. I was heartbroken. I went to bed.
Well, not exactly to bed. We went back to the room and drank some Mickeys. I watched my buddy Keo throw up then pass out. I watched my buddy Bax cry over loves lost. I watched my buddy Demmy shave his head.
Then I went to bed.
Then the phone rang - it was the lovely ladies asking me to come to their room. By the time they hung up their phone I had ran down 3 flights of steps, through the courtyard and was knocking on their door. I was ready for a legendary evening, huffing and puffing.
Then I was shot down.
They needed someone to get rid of their own beer. Their aunt was meeting them in the morning so they didn't want to be caught with the alcohol in their room.
Crushed. Denied. Again.
But we did hang out for a bit and I was gone for about an hour and a half - long enough for my friends to high five me when I got back to the room. Of course I didn't kiss and tell - which only caused their imaginations to kick into overdrive.
This has gone on way longer than planned so I'll summarize the rest - we hung out the next day at the amusement park and exchanged numbers. Long distance thing didn't last.
The end.
And with this, I'll sign off for the day. Thanks to Joy for the opportunity to corrupt her little corner of the blogiverse.
My very first family-free road trip involved a won bet, older friends, an amusement park, a case of Mickeys Big Mouths and a comely group of West Virginian lovelies.
My sophomore year most of my friends were a little older - juniors, seniors and recent graduates. We played cards every Tuesday and stakes were known to get a little on the high end (relatively speaking). We started playing one night to kill time before we went to sleep out to get Pink Floyd concert tickets. Things started out really really bad for me - I went from a full wallet down to my ticket money + one lousy dollar. That's right - one stinkin' dollar. I sat out the next few hands figuring it's just not my night. But then I figured if I'm going to go bust, then I'm going bust and threw in my dollar (the buy-in for one hand). I won that hand. Then the next. Then the next. And so on and so on and so on. Next thing you know I was up seventy five bucks. I was cleaning out everyone. IOU's started flying until it was down to me and one other guy. He was busted but threw a bigun out on the table - he bet a weekend road trip to a nameless amusement park against my $50 bucks.
I was in. And I won.
Two weeks later we load up his car and enough beer to kill a pack of Clydedale's. Several hours later we're at a dirty Motel 6 and hanging out at the pool.
Enter four WV female road trippers. Conversations are struck up, jokes are told, charm is poured on. Things were going well.
Then they left.
I was crushed. I was heartbroken. I went to bed.
Well, not exactly to bed. We went back to the room and drank some Mickeys. I watched my buddy Keo throw up then pass out. I watched my buddy Bax cry over loves lost. I watched my buddy Demmy shave his head.
Then I went to bed.
Then the phone rang - it was the lovely ladies asking me to come to their room. By the time they hung up their phone I had ran down 3 flights of steps, through the courtyard and was knocking on their door. I was ready for a legendary evening, huffing and puffing.
Then I was shot down.
They needed someone to get rid of their own beer. Their aunt was meeting them in the morning so they didn't want to be caught with the alcohol in their room.
Crushed. Denied. Again.
But we did hang out for a bit and I was gone for about an hour and a half - long enough for my friends to high five me when I got back to the room. Of course I didn't kiss and tell - which only caused their imaginations to kick into overdrive.
This has gone on way longer than planned so I'll summarize the rest - we hung out the next day at the amusement park and exchanged numbers. Long distance thing didn't last.
The end.
And with this, I'll sign off for the day. Thanks to Joy for the opportunity to corrupt her little corner of the blogiverse.
Great Prom Moments In History
In tribute to Joy's HHB, I thought I'd share some of my own Promformal dance moments.
Seventeen years ago (when fewer people had figured out what a psychopath I was) I was known to date the occassional young woman or three. I always looked forward to Proms and other formal dances because they were such perfect opportunities for..... ummmm.... getting to know them better. Unfortunately a series of tragic mishaps prevented me from every fully exploiting those chances. Here's a summary of such moments;
Seventeen years ago (when fewer people had figured out what a psychopath I was) I was known to date the occassional young woman or three. I always looked forward to Proms and other formal dances because they were such perfect opportunities for..... ummmm.... getting to know them better. Unfortunately a series of tragic mishaps prevented me from every fully exploiting those chances. Here's a summary of such moments;
- called my new girlfriend by my old girlfriend's name (while they were sitting next to each other)
- Double-dated with a guy from school who spent the whole night spitting on people and calling his date "fat" (even in front of her father)
- Got a limo, went to the nicest restaurant in the area, bought a huge corsage yet my date still complained that I didn't spend enough money on her
- Spent that whole afternoon and early evening competing in a track relay causing me to be 45 minutes late to pick up a very angry cheerleader (we broke the conference record so it was worth it)
- Got deathly sick the day before, offered to call it off but the girl insisted we go. She spent the next three days throwing up
There you have it. And since I am in the distinguished position of being the first "Joy of the Day" (doesn't ring quite like Assclown of the Day - what are you gonna do) I'm going to make a rule that each subsequent Joy of the Day share their own Prom/Homecoming/Formal dance moment.
Lowly commenters can share their own in the comments section
An Ode To Social Workers
From the US Bureau of Labor Statistics
"Social work is a profession for those with a strong desire to help improve
"Social work is a profession for those with a strong desire to help improve
people’s lives. Social workers help people function the best way they can in
their environment, deal with their relationships, and solve personal and
family problems. Social workers often see clients who face a life-threatening
their environment, deal with their relationships, and solve personal and
family problems. Social workers often see clients who face a life-threatening
disease or a social problem, such as inadequate housing, unemployment, a
serious illness, a disability, or substance abuse. Social workers also assist families
that have serious domestic conflicts, sometimes involving child or spousal abuse."
For those of you who don't have much exposure to the impact social workers have on people's lives, the sacrifices they make and how little they're compensated for it, I'm going to tell you;
Imagine getting called in the middle of the night to meet the police at a crack house to pick up a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old living there as their drug dealing parents are hauled away in handcuffs. And rather than being relieved to be getting out of that disease-infested hellhole, the kids are screaming and crying because they're being taken away from the only "adults" they've ever known. You try to comfort them as they pack up their few belongings in a black trash bag - a couple filthy changes of clothes, their one hole-filled pair of shoes and a grungy old stuffed animal (their only plaything). So as they walk out past the discarded needles, human waste and dead rats, you become their entire world.
Social workers get their hearts broken every day - a six yr old girl sexually abused for the past 3 years, a boy with cigarette burns halfway up his arms, a baby dipped in scalding water to me him stop wandering, an infant shaken into a vegetative state because she wouldn't stop crying. They do this while getting little thanks from anyone.
So this is just my little way for thanking Joy and all the others who do what they do. I just want them to know that some of us see what they do and are left in awe at their sacrifice, diligence and tremendous hearts.
Thanks Joy.
that have serious domestic conflicts, sometimes involving child or spousal abuse."
For those of you who don't have much exposure to the impact social workers have on people's lives, the sacrifices they make and how little they're compensated for it, I'm going to tell you;
Imagine getting called in the middle of the night to meet the police at a crack house to pick up a 4 yr old and a 7 yr old living there as their drug dealing parents are hauled away in handcuffs. And rather than being relieved to be getting out of that disease-infested hellhole, the kids are screaming and crying because they're being taken away from the only "adults" they've ever known. You try to comfort them as they pack up their few belongings in a black trash bag - a couple filthy changes of clothes, their one hole-filled pair of shoes and a grungy old stuffed animal (their only plaything). So as they walk out past the discarded needles, human waste and dead rats, you become their entire world.
Social workers get their hearts broken every day - a six yr old girl sexually abused for the past 3 years, a boy with cigarette burns halfway up his arms, a baby dipped in scalding water to me him stop wandering, an infant shaken into a vegetative state because she wouldn't stop crying. They do this while getting little thanks from anyone.
So this is just my little way for thanking Joy and all the others who do what they do. I just want them to know that some of us see what they do and are left in awe at their sacrifice, diligence and tremendous hearts.
Thanks Joy.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Out of Commission
Since BFF is in town, my presence here will be quite scarce. Therefore I have asked a few of my fellow bloggers to become guest bloggers on my blog in order to keep y'all entertained while I am gallivanting throughout the northeast with BFF. And so starting tomorrow until Wednesday, you will be having your fill of other bloggers in my little corner of the blogosphere. Now, please, please be nice to these kindhearted people. (Although, I may have to make an exception for Anonymous Coward.....heheheh). I shall entertain you all with stories of intrigue and adventure upon my return. ;)
Mom....Best Friends
Mom just arrived from the Philippines earlier this morning and so I decided to call mom and dad's cell phone about half an hour after her plane landed in Vancouver. My timing was perfect. As soon as mom answered the phone, I felt this rush of homesickness (which doesn't happen too often), and the yearning for home and family began to set in once again. Does it make sense to miss someone who lives thousands of miles away from you when they go away on vacation? That's how it was for me. I missed that sense of comfort, knowing that I could pick up the the phone anytime and hear mom's voice on the other side. It was so good to hear her voice today.
As mom shared about her trip to the Philippines, her voice revealed a myriad of emotions, from deep grief to immense joy. Although I was not with her during this trip I could almost see the places and people she visited, and at the same time, I also felt her pain and her joy as she described her experiences. I think it must be that weird, cosmic, connection a child has with their mother stemming from the nine months spent in her womb. Nonetheless, what stood out the most for me was mom's descriptions of her time spent with her two best friends, Naida and Lucy. As a child, I recall mom's many stories involving these two dear women and I was always fascinated with the way they were able to maintain a friendship even with mom ultimately moving into and living in a different continent. Many years ago I was given a glimpse of the dynamics within their friendship when I went to visit the Philippines with my mom. Even then, I felt like an interloper, encroaching on something that almost seemed so sacred, so precious.
I write about this on the eve of my best friend's arrival (we'll call her BFF). Her plane lands tomorrow afternoon and I get to spend about a week with this woman who probably knows me better than anyone else in this world. Together we've laughed, we've fought, and we've cried. We have journeyed together through many milestones and experiences: from college graduations to break-ups, to bad hair cuts, to her wedding, and to my eventual move to the east coast. Like my mom, I too have been blessed with this kind of friendship - to have grown with someone and to be known so well - having that Jonathan/David, Laverne/Shirley, Sookie/Lorelei, Joey/Dawson, Will/Grace kind of palship.
I truly am blessed.
As mom shared about her trip to the Philippines, her voice revealed a myriad of emotions, from deep grief to immense joy. Although I was not with her during this trip I could almost see the places and people she visited, and at the same time, I also felt her pain and her joy as she described her experiences. I think it must be that weird, cosmic, connection a child has with their mother stemming from the nine months spent in her womb. Nonetheless, what stood out the most for me was mom's descriptions of her time spent with her two best friends, Naida and Lucy. As a child, I recall mom's many stories involving these two dear women and I was always fascinated with the way they were able to maintain a friendship even with mom ultimately moving into and living in a different continent. Many years ago I was given a glimpse of the dynamics within their friendship when I went to visit the Philippines with my mom. Even then, I felt like an interloper, encroaching on something that almost seemed so sacred, so precious.
I write about this on the eve of my best friend's arrival (we'll call her BFF). Her plane lands tomorrow afternoon and I get to spend about a week with this woman who probably knows me better than anyone else in this world. Together we've laughed, we've fought, and we've cried. We have journeyed together through many milestones and experiences: from college graduations to break-ups, to bad hair cuts, to her wedding, and to my eventual move to the east coast. Like my mom, I too have been blessed with this kind of friendship - to have grown with someone and to be known so well - having that Jonathan/David, Laverne/Shirley, Sookie/Lorelei, Joey/Dawson, Will/Grace kind of palship.
I truly am blessed.
Thursday, March 9, 2006
My Favorite Things #2
I discovered Strunk and White about 3 years ago and I loooooove this small book. Love it. Looooove it. If you want a liberal application of how to use the written English language, then this is the book for you. This small book is persistent, direct, and timeless. I would recommend it to anyone who expresses themselves in English prose as part of their job. Nonetheless, I just want to share that I refer to this book quite often when I'm writing, which is pretty much on a daily basis given the fact that I write profiles on families and children, along with my blog addiction.
I am a veritable grammar whore.
I Didn't
I have always sucked at prose and poetry, however I figured I'd try my hand at it. The other night I was challenged to write one and of course I never back down from challenges. But of course, it always helps when you have someone offering themselves to be your muse. So here goes.......
I Didn’t
I ventured into a new world
At first with great trepidation,
Baby steps, slowly immersing, bigger steps
I didn’t expect this.
I entered into a new place
Different people, contrasting thoughts,
Community slowing being crafted
I didn’t expect this.
I found community in a new place
Discovered what appeared to be in my mind
Something mysterious, something ominous.
I didn’t expect this.
I crossed the threshold into new territory
Slowly, with immense apprehension,
Lines becoming indistinct, starting to cross
I didn’t expect this.
I am allowing myself into this new world,
Unsettling, risky, unknown, exciting.
Ultimately offering my vulnerable self.
I didn’t expect you.
Tuesday, March 7, 2006
Enchantment
"They say that a woman gives birth the way that she lives her life."
I discovered this quote from a friend's blog the other day and have been mulling over it ever since. Part of it stems from an entrancing experience that I had in church two days ago as I held my friend's 5 month old baby girl. Sitting behind my friend, we'll call her UrbanMom, I noticed the difficulty she was having with her two very energetic boys, both vying for her attention, while she was holding her baby daughter, Clara. Her husband was helping to serve communion and so UrbanMom was left to her own devices as she tried to manage her two young boys while holding baby Clara. I tapped her on the shoulder and offered my help. With a grateful smile, UrbanMom relinquished baby Clara into my arms and at that very moment, time stood still. Although I have never given birth, I began to experience what may be called my own hidden maternal instincts. As the congregation sung "Come Thou Font Of Every Blessing", I was swept away into this dreamlike state as I watched Clara fall into a sound and dreamless sleep in my arms, almost fantasizing that she was born out of my own womb. It was an almost ethereal experience, which cannot even be described with words, because it can only be felt with the heart. Knowing that this was beautiful and rare, knowing in my soul that I only had this brief, yet enchanting moment, I soaked it all in.
It was intoxicating.
As the service ended, I was jolted back into reality as I discovered that my arms were completely devoid, reverting back into its state of emptiness.
I discovered this quote from a friend's blog the other day and have been mulling over it ever since. Part of it stems from an entrancing experience that I had in church two days ago as I held my friend's 5 month old baby girl. Sitting behind my friend, we'll call her UrbanMom, I noticed the difficulty she was having with her two very energetic boys, both vying for her attention, while she was holding her baby daughter, Clara. Her husband was helping to serve communion and so UrbanMom was left to her own devices as she tried to manage her two young boys while holding baby Clara. I tapped her on the shoulder and offered my help. With a grateful smile, UrbanMom relinquished baby Clara into my arms and at that very moment, time stood still. Although I have never given birth, I began to experience what may be called my own hidden maternal instincts. As the congregation sung "Come Thou Font Of Every Blessing", I was swept away into this dreamlike state as I watched Clara fall into a sound and dreamless sleep in my arms, almost fantasizing that she was born out of my own womb. It was an almost ethereal experience, which cannot even be described with words, because it can only be felt with the heart. Knowing that this was beautiful and rare, knowing in my soul that I only had this brief, yet enchanting moment, I soaked it all in.
It was intoxicating.
As the service ended, I was jolted back into reality as I discovered that my arms were completely devoid, reverting back into its state of emptiness.
Sunday, March 5, 2006
Why?
Since today was such a beautiful day, I decided to go for a run along the water front.
And ended up freezing my freakin' butt off.
Sometimes I don't know why I subject myself to sheer torture.
And ended up freezing my freakin' butt off.
Sometimes I don't know why I subject myself to sheer torture.
Friday, March 3, 2006
Dad
This afternoon, I had an amusing conversation with my dad, and I have to say, he is such an endearing man. I've been calling and checking up on him all this week because mom is off gallivanting somewhere in the Pacific Rim. Actually, mom flew out to Asia because her eldest sister's husband passed away last week and so she travelled out there in order to support her sister and her family.
The conversation I had with dad this afternoon had me yearning for the richness of family and of course, for the west coast. However, even with this yearning, reality sets in and I am once again reminded of why I am here and what it would actually be like if I moved back to the west coast. That's another story in and of itself. All the same, everytime I talk to dad on the phone he never fails to ask about how our resident pitt bull, Chubbs, is doing. It's funny how he has quickly forgotten that the dog nearly bit him during his vist here last year. Nevertheless, prior to saying our good-byes, dad just HAD to share with me a dog joke he recently heard. Of course, I had to humor him a little and let him tell me the joke.
Let's just say that dad laughed at this joke a little bit too hard.
And me? Well, I laughed and chuckled a bit. But not as hard as dad. The most amusing thing was that dad pulled one of those "old people" stunts of laughing at his own corny joke.
Scary.
Nonetheless, I love this man and I hope that one day, I will meet and eventually marry someone who comes even close to having the character, integrity, and strength that my father has.
The conversation I had with dad this afternoon had me yearning for the richness of family and of course, for the west coast. However, even with this yearning, reality sets in and I am once again reminded of why I am here and what it would actually be like if I moved back to the west coast. That's another story in and of itself. All the same, everytime I talk to dad on the phone he never fails to ask about how our resident pitt bull, Chubbs, is doing. It's funny how he has quickly forgotten that the dog nearly bit him during his vist here last year. Nevertheless, prior to saying our good-byes, dad just HAD to share with me a dog joke he recently heard. Of course, I had to humor him a little and let him tell me the joke.
Let's just say that dad laughed at this joke a little bit too hard.
And me? Well, I laughed and chuckled a bit. But not as hard as dad. The most amusing thing was that dad pulled one of those "old people" stunts of laughing at his own corny joke.
Scary.
Nonetheless, I love this man and I hope that one day, I will meet and eventually marry someone who comes even close to having the character, integrity, and strength that my father has.
Thursday, March 2, 2006
My Favorite Things #1
So, to go along with the DAM posts, I came up with this "brilliant" thought of blogging about my favorite things. I know, I know....it's got an Oprahesque kind of feel to it. Nonetheless, this is going to be the less shi-shi version of Oprah's "my favorite things" show. Now mind you, I'm not too high maintenance and so don't expect Louis Vuitton hand bags or Gucci sunglasses. I find myself delighted by the more simpler things in life. So here goes, the first "My Favorite Thing" (MFT) is as follows........
I discovered this lip balm through Irishgirl who picked up a pot at Urban Outfitters and I absolutely fell in love with the stuff. Since Irishgirl was getting tired of being harassed by yours truly to use some of her lip stuff, and in order to keep Irishgirl's friendship, I decided to pick up a pot of this sweet scented lip balm. Urban Outfitters didn't sell Rosebud anymore, however the disappointment did not last for too long because I discovered that Sephora was selling the stuff. So for $6.50, you get this delightful, vintage looking lip balm pot, with a hint of pink hue and a delectable strawberry taste which makes for some kissable lips. SMACK!
I discovered this lip balm through Irishgirl who picked up a pot at Urban Outfitters and I absolutely fell in love with the stuff. Since Irishgirl was getting tired of being harassed by yours truly to use some of her lip stuff, and in order to keep Irishgirl's friendship, I decided to pick up a pot of this sweet scented lip balm. Urban Outfitters didn't sell Rosebud anymore, however the disappointment did not last for too long because I discovered that Sephora was selling the stuff. So for $6.50, you get this delightful, vintage looking lip balm pot, with a hint of pink hue and a delectable strawberry taste which makes for some kissable lips. SMACK!
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