Journal......a shortie

It's late and I really don't have much to say at the moment, but I feel like I really ought to type out an entry. I've really gotten into this blogging groove thing. It's strange because although I can log into my blogger account to read and post my thoughts, I don't think it's as tangible as writing with a pen in a real journal with real paper. However, since I've started blogging online on a more regular basis, my journal has been neglected. It makes me sad.

Time for bed.

Book Whore

At the present moment I am reading this book written by Lauren F. Winner called, "Girl Meets God: A Memoir". It's an amusing and witty narrative of the author's attempts to reconcile both sides of her religious identity: Jewish Orthodoxy and Christianity. The book is an anecdotical account of her decision to become an Orthodox Jew to the circumstances which led to her conversion to Christianity. This woman is ingenious and I only wish that I can become half the writer that she is. Interestingly enough, I recently discovered that she is married to this guy that I had a, let's just say, a summer dalliance with one summer when I was doing an internship with inner-city kids. Needless to say, my summer flirtation with this guy is not the point of this post. Last night as I was reading this book, Winner extracts a quote by author and teacher, Sven Bikerts:

"To read, when one does so of one's own free will, is to make a volitional statement,
to cast a vote; it is to posit an elsewhere and set off toward it. And like any traveling,
reading is at once a movement and a comment of sorts about the place one has left.
To open a book voluntarily is at some level to remark the insufficiency either of one's life
or of one orientation toward it."

This particular quote struck me because, like Winner, I am a certifiable book whore. I LOVE BOOKS. And to make me sound even more neurotic, I prefer reading to watching TV. It's nuts, I know. However, Bikerts quote kind of struck a nerve in me because apart from the many reasons why I love to read (for sheer pleasure, for information, for an increase in vocabulary), I realize that I also read to numb my feelings of hopelessness and despondency. I use reading as this remedy to get me out certain funks. When I'm upset or feeling depressed, I will happily escape into a novel. Probably not the most healthy coping mechanism. With that said, Winner's inferences to her prayer life and how that improved after she gave up reading books for lent one year has unquestionably challenged me. The thought of giving up books for a few weeks scares me. But as I mull it over, the thought of books becoming a barrier between me and my relationship with God, well, let's just say that it scares the shit out of me.

Green Tea.....

......more like Pee Tea. After a weekend filled with gluttonous consumption, I decided to start afresh this week by detoxifying my body from toxins, which I assume were from the hormones injected into the turkey, that I devoured. So this morning before heading off to work I made myself some green tea......organic green tea, mind you........from Trader Joes. I poured the tea into my handy Tim Horton's travel mug and headed off to work. I sipped my green tea on my way to work, which surprisingly lasted until about an hour after I arrived into the office. Well, about a half hour later, this tea started to worm its way down into the recesses of......well, I won't go into the flagrant details, but I'm sure y'all are starting to picture as to where I am going with this. ;) Needless to say, this tea had me running to the bathroom almost every 10-15 minutes for about two hours earlier this afternoon. Let's just say that urinating at every quarter in the hour was a lovely experience. You all should try it one of these days. NOT.

But wait, the story doesn't end there. One would think that I would learn my lesson from this morning, right? Well, tonight I once again decided that I want to get into the habit of drinking herbal tea after supper. So I put the kettle on the stove to heat some water and took out the tin of Jasmine tea that I purchased in Chinatown this past weekend. Now, I love jasmine tea and it has got to be my favorite herbal tea in this world. It leaves of this flowery taste in your palate, unlike that nasty after-taste some teas have. But I digress. After several minutes of letting the tea infuse its floral essence, I parked myself on my comfy chair, located in the corner of my bedroom and started to read through the various blogs that I follow. Like the green tea from this morning, I took my time with this one, sipping and enjoying its jasminey floral flavors. Well, my plans for a "relaxing evening" went down the drain about 15 minutes after I finished this tea. Much like my previous experience from this afternoon, the liquid started to fill my bladder and I started the whole route of visiting the bathroom. But this time, it was worse. There were pockets of time were I went to the bathroom four times in a span of 15 minutes. Let me repeat that.......

I

PEE'D

FOUR

TIMES

IN

15

MINUTES!!!

At this rate, I'll need to purchase a couple of boxes of Depends, especially if I continue with this health kick involving any green teas. Now, please excuse me........I need to pee like a banshee.

Black Friday Madness, Chinatown, and Poverty

My roommate and I must have been the only individuals in this country who did not partake in the Black Friday madness. Thank the good Lord. Why would I want to get up at 5 AM and stand in line, deal with crowded stores and traffic, only to save a few dollars on a cashmere sweater or MP3 player? It's madness I tell ya. Madness. Nope, not me. This morning I took my sweet ol' time rising from bed and then took the dog out for a walk. These last few days I've been on this baking spree, much to the delight of Irish Girl, and so this morning after my walk with the dog, I decided to bake cranberry-orange scones. And can I say that they were absolutely delish? The scones turned out perfectly! They were the savory, melt in your mouth, type of scones which had you moaning as soon as it hit your palate. It was a proud moment for me.

Earlier this afternoon, Irish Girl and I took a jaunt into the Chinatown in Philly where she bought some wedding gifts for a friend. I suppose that's the closest we got to Black Friday shopping. But I don't think that shopping in Chinatown does not really count as Black Friday shopping because 1) we were shopping for wedding gifts, 2) Chinatown consists mainly of restaurants, old curio shops, and masses of stores filled with hanging ducks, frog aquariums, live crabs and dead fish, and 3) Well, I can't think of a third reason. It was a short excursion and a soon as Irish Girl bought her gifts, we hightailed it back to her vehicle before we froze ourselves into oblivion.

So back at home we had our fill of turkey leftovers and it's trimmings. Somehow turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce seem to taste even better the next day. Well, anyhow, at least it does for me. We rented Christmas with the Cranks but never got around to watching it. I ended up balancing my checkbook. As I type that out, I just realized how I have stooped to the lowest level of patheticness. Why? Well........1) I spent my FRIDAY evening, balancing my check book (now who does that on a Friday night?) and 2) I realized that I am literally living just above the poverty level.

Happy Holidays.

Turkey Day.

Well, I'm stuffed and pretty much turkey'd out. We are going to be living on turkey left overs for the next month or so. Turkey sandwiches, turkey chowder, turkey salad, turkey soup, turkey, turkey, turkey! Oh. Joy. I think I will have enough of the bird to last me until next year. Anyways, this is gonna be a short one as I need to leave in ten minutes for my friend's place. We're having desert there! I swear, I must have gained at least 10 pounds just by dinner alone. I'm afraid what desert will do to me. Nonetheless, come Monday it's back to the treadmill at the gym and running at the water front. I'm dead.

Welcome to Blogsville....Where The Fun Never Ends

Don't ask about the title of this particular entry because it has nothing to do with what I am going to write about. It's weird because that title suddenly popped into my head as I was about to start blogging, and of course I had to use it. Don't ask me why. It's probably from the mix of cranberry compote and burned cheesecake residue that I've inhaled tonight. I did some cooking this evening in preparation for tomorrow's thanksgiving dinner. It will just be one of my roommates and I tomorrow evening, but afterwards we will be joining other friends for desert and games. Hence the cheesecake. Well, kind of burnt chocolate chip cheesecake but only a little bit on the sides. The burnt aroma was due to the drips from the cheescake onto the bottom of the oven. Now I know it sounds pretty sad that it will just be my roommate and I for thanksgiving dinner. But this is with good reason. I mean, it's not like there was a lack of invites for Thanksgiving dinner. Seeing that my roommate, let's call her Irish Girl, and I are both aliens in a foreign country (me being from Canada and she, hailing from Northern Ireland), our families are obviously thousands of miles away from us and so clearly there have been quite a few invites. But here's the thing. Thanksgiving dinner has got to be one of our most favorite meals ever and I absolutely enjoy preparing the meal. So tomorrow we plan to spend a better part of the morning/early afternoon cooking and in between the meal preparations, I will most likely be working on the quilt that I plan to give my mom for Christmas (yeah, it'll be my granny moment for the day). A friend from Delaware will be dropping by in the early afternoon and like I shared earlier, in the evening it's game night and desert at my other Northern Irish friends' place. It's interesting because I, as a Canadian citizen obviously living in the USA, will be celebrating this American Holiday amongst other foreign nationals. How ironic is that? I missed Canadian thanksgiving this past October (like I've missed it over the last 5 years) and so I aim to make up for it with tomorrow's holiday. :)

Although I am thankful on a daily basis for what God has blessed me with, in lieu of Thanksgiving, allow me to reflect upon those that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for God's unfailing love and forgiving spirit. Even though I act like a bumbling idiot and can be an embarrassment to Him, I am in perpetual awe of God's consistent and abiding love.

I am thankful for my parents. They have got to be one of my biggest cheerleaders. I don't know where I would be without their love and support.

I am thankful for my brother. *GASP* Did I actually just say that out loud? Even though there are times when he can grate on my last nerve with his chauvinistic tendencies, he is still a great brother.

I am thankful for all the opportunities and doors that God has opened up to me, thus allowing me to have a myriad of enriching experiences.

I am thankful for laughter......"God has brought me laughter, and anyone who hears about this will laugh with me." Gen. 21:6

I am thankful for my best Czech friend, who has seen me through the best of times and the worst of times over the last 12 years.

I am thankful for my roommates of five years. Whom I first saw as strangers and now regard as sisters.

I am thankful for the short drive/train ride out to NYC, where I can hop on the subway to the East Side, satiate myself with frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity3 and then go running at Central Park to burn off all the calories from the frozen hot chocolate I ingested. :-D

I am thankful for the trials and tribulations, and for the hurts and fears, because they have all made me a better person, strengthening my faith in the One who carried me through it all.

I am thankful for this job that God has placed me in. Even with its ups and downs, I believe that God is preparing me for an even higher calling.

And lastly, I am thankful for life, for this trajectory that God is guiding me through and for choosing me to be His.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and may your hearts be filled gratitude during this holiday season with the many blessings and lessons brought before you in this past year.

God Bless you all!

Reality Blogs

Earlier this evening I had a conversation with my 17 year old cousin in San Diego, trying to convince him the intrinsic worth of blogs. This was his response - "You're a loser". Mind you, this was said in jest of course. But it really got me into thinking. Why are we "losers" so obsessed with reading other people's web logs? Individuals who are literally strangers to us? I have a number of blogs that I follow almost religiously (yeah....sad, I know), it's like this twisted addiction where I literally cannot stop. As I was ruminating over this obsession with reading blogs, I had what some would say a "light bulb" moment. This fascination that we have with pouring over pages and pages of blogs can be likened to the reality tv show craze. I mean, think about it. Reality TV pretty much speaks for itself because these shows are designed to convey "real life". But of course we know all about the "magical edit" buttons that the producers of these shows like to toy with. ;) These shows bring us to a new level which allows us to satiate our voyeuristic tendencies which society would normally restrict us. C'mon now, there is no doubt in my mind that we have all at one point had that draw to peer into our neighbor's window (especially if that window was at level with your window), to see what they were up to. However in some cases we don't have a choice BUT to peer through that window. We once had a neighbor who we dubbed "weird naked girl", (kind of like that guy in Friends, whom all the friends dubbed "Ugly Naked Guy") because she had this penchant for prancing around in her birthday suit for all to see. Although, I think I'll talk about that in another entry before I seriously digress. I really believe that blogs provide this same sense of being "in the know", but the difference is, blogs divulge more than what is actually being depicted. Blogs allows us to peer into the thoughts and true feelings of an individual. Now I don't know which is more daunting: this penchant that we have to satisfy our curiosity or this fascination that we have with reading about someone else's actual thoughts.

Stupidity or Living on the Edge?

So, I like to live on the edge. This evening I went to see a musical where my co-worker was part of in Abington, PA and as I was on my way home, I discovered that my gas tank was almost empty.......to the point of where the warning light kept popping up every 10 seconds or so. When I discovered my almost empty tank, I still had about another 25 minute drive home to Camden. My usual route home from the Germantown area in Philly takes me through some sketchy, ghetto areas, which then shoots me off into the Schuykill expressway, onto the Ben Franklin Bridge and into Camden, which I would like to add has been dubbed this year as "the most dangerous city in the nation." Abington is a suburb just outside of Philly and I drove by many gas stations on my way out to the express way. But the cheapo that I am, I decide to wait until I get to Jersey to gas up. Listen, if it's going to save you at east .30 cents less per gallon to gas up in Jersey, then you'll WANT to gas up in Jersey. So I'm on the expressway, it's almost midnight, and my gas gauge reveals to me that I REALLY need to gas up or end up stuck on the Schuykill Expressway. Did I happen to stop and gas up? Nope. I decided to risk it and drive straight home into Camden. It's funny though, because I have this tendency to "risk it" quite often on "almost empty" gas tanks. My lackadaisical attitude should be disconcerting, but it's not. If truth be told, I actually get this twisted rush from driving home on an empty gas tank; it's like this challenge that I need to take on.

So let's recapitulate: in order to save .30 cents less to the gallon on gas, I drive on an almost empty gas tank through the ghetto, risk getting stuck in a very busy expressway, and into the most dangerous city in the US. I would like to call it living on the edge. But in actuality, it's called stupidity at its best.

Beer At PJ's

You know, there really is nothing like good conversation over a pint of beer and nacho chips at PJ's. It only makes the experience, well, more congenial and I am happy to share that tonight was one of those evenings. There is something about beer that makes the comraderie of friends and time spent together more gratifying. I would have to say that it definitely is a contrast to "going out for cofffee". It's not that I don't enjoy going out for coffee either, heck, you'll usually find me at the local Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon with a friend. However, going out for beers at our local haunt obviously takes on a whole new different meaning to "conversation". There is almost this sense of freedom and autonomy where people become more candid, or shall we say, "throw caution to the wind?". Then again, it could be due to their inebriated state, and yes I know that we've all done or said some idiotic things while "under the influence". But nontheless, there are those "responsible" ones who imbibe pleasure from savoring good beer and quality conversation with good friends. Tonight was one of those nights.

Randomness

I think I seriously need to go get a life.

i am: about to go make myself a cuppa.
i miss: having a stereo in my car. (it was stolen)
i want: to go to go to grad school.
i hate: mean, ignorant people.
i have: to go to the bathroom.
i fear: watching horror movies on Halloween. (NEVER AGAIN.)
i play: classical music often.
i hear: the dumb cars going over the Ben Franklin Bridge.
i care: about people, social justice, and chocolate.
i smile: because I spent the day in NYC yesterday.
i wonder: if I'll ever actually go to grad school.
i love: the simple pleasures in life; colorful fall leaves, running along the waterfront, surprise phone calls, and laughter with friends.
i think: about why I'm filling out this dumb thing.
i always: listen to classical music when I'm working from home.
i am not: going to fill out another one of these dumb things.
i sing: because i'm happy
i wish: to live in NYC.
i keep: thinking about living in NYC
i can: tie my shoe laces. ;)
i can't: seem to meet someone who doesn't have issues.
i write: like i talk?
i won: nothing.
i lost: my house keys last spring.
i smell: bacon.
i confuse: myself.
i need: to go running.
i should: stop filling out this stupid thing.