Book Whore

At the present moment I am reading this book written by Lauren F. Winner called, "Girl Meets God: A Memoir". It's an amusing and witty narrative of the author's attempts to reconcile both sides of her religious identity: Jewish Orthodoxy and Christianity. The book is an anecdotical account of her decision to become an Orthodox Jew to the circumstances which led to her conversion to Christianity. This woman is ingenious and I only wish that I can become half the writer that she is. Interestingly enough, I recently discovered that she is married to this guy that I had a, let's just say, a summer dalliance with one summer when I was doing an internship with inner-city kids. Needless to say, my summer flirtation with this guy is not the point of this post. Last night as I was reading this book, Winner extracts a quote by author and teacher, Sven Bikerts:

"To read, when one does so of one's own free will, is to make a volitional statement,
to cast a vote; it is to posit an elsewhere and set off toward it. And like any traveling,
reading is at once a movement and a comment of sorts about the place one has left.
To open a book voluntarily is at some level to remark the insufficiency either of one's life
or of one orientation toward it."

This particular quote struck me because, like Winner, I am a certifiable book whore. I LOVE BOOKS. And to make me sound even more neurotic, I prefer reading to watching TV. It's nuts, I know. However, Bikerts quote kind of struck a nerve in me because apart from the many reasons why I love to read (for sheer pleasure, for information, for an increase in vocabulary), I realize that I also read to numb my feelings of hopelessness and despondency. I use reading as this remedy to get me out certain funks. When I'm upset or feeling depressed, I will happily escape into a novel. Probably not the most healthy coping mechanism. With that said, Winner's inferences to her prayer life and how that improved after she gave up reading books for lent one year has unquestionably challenged me. The thought of giving up books for a few weeks scares me. But as I mull it over, the thought of books becoming a barrier between me and my relationship with God, well, let's just say that it scares the shit out of me.