"Sleep my darling baby, mommy's not too far away,
Sleep my darling baby, daddy's is here to stay....."
One of the lullaby's I can remember dad singing to me as a child - comforting, serene, giving me that sense of security. I knew I was loved.
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, mom explained to me that dad was adopted and that my paternal grandparents weren't his "real" parents. This new piece of information from my dad's past was so devastating that I started to cry insisting that we call dad at work that minute so I would know that he was alright. The concept of adoption was completely foreign to me and at the time, I felt so sick to my stomach that dad may have been abandoned or even unloved. I am often amazed by my sensitivity at such a young age towards the circumstances from which dad came from and grew up in. Now, ask me what I do for a living. No surprise there. ;)
Dad displayed a strong work ethic at work and at home. He expected the same from my brother and I, while we were in school, and at the present time, in the work place. He never swayed and was always consistent.
From the time I can remember, after dad arrived home from work he would, on a daily basis, head straight to the kitchen where mom was cooking dinner and greet her with a kiss on the cheek, put his arms around her, giving me this mischevious wink, stating that he loves "my mommy". Mom of course would feign annoyance, nudge him away, telling him to go wash up. Such a simple gesture that dad displayed, but one that will be imprinted in my mind for the rest of my life. I'm sure that dad isn't the most perfect husband, but he sure does love my mom and makes sure that she knows she is loved.
"Joy, I cannot believe that you're sixteen and l'm teaching you how to drive. You're growing up too fast....." This said while stopped at a stop light on the corner of 148th St. and 96th Ave., sitting in a big, cherry red, four door Volvo, with a big sign on the rear window that said, "STUDENT DRIVER". I think it was one of those moments where dad came to this realization that I wasn't a kid anymore, but this soon-to-be adult who has started to do adult things...like learning how to drive. I'm surprised that I didn't give him a heart attack during those initial days of teaching me how to drive. In fact, I don't even remember him stressing out or yelling at me for making a stupid driving mistake once. Only by the grace of God.
Around my junior year of college I was in a fairly serious dating relationship with this guy. One afternoon, as dad and I were driving along King George Highway, out of the blue, dad made this statement which nearly knocked me out of my seat. "So you know, I really like N. In fact, I really wouldn't mind it at all if you guys got married." My reaction? What the hell??? First of all, this coming from a man who was adamant about his daughter finishing her college education before she could even think about living her "life". And second of all, "What the hell???"
When I lived in South Dakota, I flew home for Christmas with a surpise gift for my parents. She was a beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever named Dakota. Dad fell in love with her. And of course, she was his baby. Two years ago, Dakota became quite ill and dad had to make the difficult decision to put her down. It was probably one of dad's most traumatizing experiences. He was right there, next to Dakota when the vet put our family dog down. Dad cried like a baby. After that experience, dad shared that he doesn't think he'll ever get another dog. Losing Dakota was too painful. I really do hope that he decides to get another dog one of these days.
About two months ago I had a discussion with dad about applying for this particular visa which would allow for immigrant status here in the USA, thus allowing me to stay out here on a more permanent basis. His response when I asked him what I should do? "What's your heart telling you?" He knows what my heart is telling me and I know that this knowledge is also a difficult one for him. I think there are times when he still sees me as a little girl, wanting to keep me closer to home where he can protect me.
My dad isn't perfect and of course there are many things about him that frustrate me. But the thing is, inspite of the frustration and misunderstandings, I still love him and feel secure in his love for me. And the wonderful thing is, we have no qualms in verbally stating "I love you's" to each other.
I stated this before and I'll state it again, I love my dad, and hope that one day I will meet and eventually marry someone who comes even close to having the godly character, integrity, and strength that my father has.
One of the lullaby's I can remember dad singing to me as a child - comforting, serene, giving me that sense of security. I knew I was loved.
When I was about 6 or 7 years old, mom explained to me that dad was adopted and that my paternal grandparents weren't his "real" parents. This new piece of information from my dad's past was so devastating that I started to cry insisting that we call dad at work that minute so I would know that he was alright. The concept of adoption was completely foreign to me and at the time, I felt so sick to my stomach that dad may have been abandoned or even unloved. I am often amazed by my sensitivity at such a young age towards the circumstances from which dad came from and grew up in. Now, ask me what I do for a living. No surprise there. ;)
Dad displayed a strong work ethic at work and at home. He expected the same from my brother and I, while we were in school, and at the present time, in the work place. He never swayed and was always consistent.
From the time I can remember, after dad arrived home from work he would, on a daily basis, head straight to the kitchen where mom was cooking dinner and greet her with a kiss on the cheek, put his arms around her, giving me this mischevious wink, stating that he loves "my mommy". Mom of course would feign annoyance, nudge him away, telling him to go wash up. Such a simple gesture that dad displayed, but one that will be imprinted in my mind for the rest of my life. I'm sure that dad isn't the most perfect husband, but he sure does love my mom and makes sure that she knows she is loved.
"Joy, I cannot believe that you're sixteen and l'm teaching you how to drive. You're growing up too fast....." This said while stopped at a stop light on the corner of 148th St. and 96th Ave., sitting in a big, cherry red, four door Volvo, with a big sign on the rear window that said, "STUDENT DRIVER". I think it was one of those moments where dad came to this realization that I wasn't a kid anymore, but this soon-to-be adult who has started to do adult things...like learning how to drive. I'm surprised that I didn't give him a heart attack during those initial days of teaching me how to drive. In fact, I don't even remember him stressing out or yelling at me for making a stupid driving mistake once. Only by the grace of God.
Around my junior year of college I was in a fairly serious dating relationship with this guy. One afternoon, as dad and I were driving along King George Highway, out of the blue, dad made this statement which nearly knocked me out of my seat. "So you know, I really like N. In fact, I really wouldn't mind it at all if you guys got married." My reaction? What the hell??? First of all, this coming from a man who was adamant about his daughter finishing her college education before she could even think about living her "life". And second of all, "What the hell???"
When I lived in South Dakota, I flew home for Christmas with a surpise gift for my parents. She was a beautiful yellow Labrador Retriever named Dakota. Dad fell in love with her. And of course, she was his baby. Two years ago, Dakota became quite ill and dad had to make the difficult decision to put her down. It was probably one of dad's most traumatizing experiences. He was right there, next to Dakota when the vet put our family dog down. Dad cried like a baby. After that experience, dad shared that he doesn't think he'll ever get another dog. Losing Dakota was too painful. I really do hope that he decides to get another dog one of these days.
About two months ago I had a discussion with dad about applying for this particular visa which would allow for immigrant status here in the USA, thus allowing me to stay out here on a more permanent basis. His response when I asked him what I should do? "What's your heart telling you?" He knows what my heart is telling me and I know that this knowledge is also a difficult one for him. I think there are times when he still sees me as a little girl, wanting to keep me closer to home where he can protect me.
My dad isn't perfect and of course there are many things about him that frustrate me. But the thing is, inspite of the frustration and misunderstandings, I still love him and feel secure in his love for me. And the wonderful thing is, we have no qualms in verbally stating "I love you's" to each other.
I stated this before and I'll state it again, I love my dad, and hope that one day I will meet and eventually marry someone who comes even close to having the godly character, integrity, and strength that my father has.
2 comments:
Your Dad sounds like a great guy. I can see why you have high standards, and you should. It's a great gift from your Dad.
It's interesting that you work in adoption services.
My Dad was an orphan and grew up in a foster home. He was never adopted. I ended up working in the foster care sytem, specifically with kids nobody wanted ... purely by accident, of course.
what a great tribute to your Dad.
:)
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