So here I am moving on with life, thinking that things are hunky dory (yes, hunky dory), and then bam! Something happens which throws you off kilter. Well, that's how it was for me. And also one of the reasons for my silence this past week. I honestly do not know what to make of this situation.
Of course, it's about a guy.
What else would throw me off into this state that I cannot even comprehend myself?
I was involved with this guy this past fall until we decided that it would probably be better that we “remain friends.” (Yeah, we know how that usually goes.) This outcome was rather disappointing but I was able to move on without the usual melt-down that would normally result from a failed dating relationship. Truthfully though, I think the reason why I wasn't as devastated this time around was because I was not as invested. In other words, I guarded my heart. After “parting ways” I honestly did not think that I would ever hear from him again. But nonetheless, after about two months of incommunicado with this guy, I suddenly receive an email from him the week after Christmas. It was short of course, but friendly enough. However, this email was not what put me “out of sorts” this week. It was the phone call I received from him, pretty much the day after I arrived back from California. Yep. The dude called me.
He…..called…..me…..the…..day…..after…..I....arrived.
I suppose I could say that I was shocked. We talked for a while and caught up. Dialogue was somewhat erratic with him, which was probably due to his nervousness throughout the conversation. It was easy to pick out the unease in his voice. Crazy enough, it almost gave me this sense of control, knowing his apprehension and discomfort. But I’m not one to take advantage of another individual’s unease or discomfort. I won’t go into any boring details with the conversation or analyze it till the cows come home. The conversation ended on a friendly enough note, but of course it left me somewhat confused.
I’ve been digesting this call since it transpired almost a week ago. It’s made me crabby and freaking emotional. I just need to let it go and continue to move forward with my life.
So, then, why do I feel like there might be some unfinished business between us?
I had no plans to blog this situation but maybe, just maybe, writing about this situation can be akin to purging and letting go.
8 comments:
Perhaps he realizes that he made a mistake. Maybe he is still interested in being with you. Maybe he knew you were protecting your heart and he was his and how are two people going to really connect when you're holding back. I had a similar situation when I first met my girlfriend... We went thru some bumpy times and it's been a journey letting go of being hurt in the past but now I'm happy to say that we've been together over three years now and going stronger than ever... I dunno if that helped at all.
Why don't you call him point blank and ask him why he called? See if there really is some unfinished business. Maybe he just called to cal and maybe not, but you won't know and you will drive yourself nuts until you do know. So why not just ask him point blank?
Since I don't know you that well, or all the detail of the situation at hand, I don't feel that I can comment adequately.
I'll just say for now that I'll be thinking about you.
Be strong!
curious1 and bill,
i appreciate your thoughts. it's always easier said than done though. of course, i want to be assertive in that sense, ie. calling him up and ask why, but yet at the same time i just don't want to take that risk. curious1, kudos to you for the three years with your girlfriend! i'm sure that she's an amazing woman. :)
naive-no-more,
thank you! *hugs*
I agree, as usual, with curious1. BUT let me play devil's advocate. The holidays are the worst times to call people. This is when EVERYONE feels lonely.
Joy, is this relationship worth reinvesting in? You seemed pretty content to let it go, or do you feel there would be something valuable in pursuing it?
Pray about it. Ask God to give you a peace in which direction you should take.
stephen, i do agree with you. for some, the holidays are the loneliest time of the year. some feel lonely even when they are surrounded by loved ones.
shenna,
praying about it. :)
nice, comfy place you got here :)..
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