Tonight I have once again learned that I have not "arrived". At least when it comes to communicating my anger and frustration. I had a huge blow-up with my roommate this evening and it was not a lovely sight. While I prayed for grace to confront her with love, ended up in a shouting match and red angry faces. So after a ciruitous argument (shouting match) that went on for about fifteen minutes, this is how it ended:
Roommate: So are we done now? (She meant with our "conversation")
Me: So done.
I walked off in a huff and in the midst of my anger and frustration, I started crying, naturally. And of course in the midst of my crying fit, I knew that I did not handle that argument very well and that I needed to to ask my roommate for forgiveness. As I contemplated on how I was going to do this she walked out of her bedroom, and in the most self-effacing way, apologized and asked for my forgiveness. I was humbled and it brought me to the realization (yet again) that this is what the Gospel is all about. It's about God's inimitable Grace, leaning on Jesus to help me love and forgive my friend, and also admitting my own foibles. And trust me, I have many, many, said foibles.
I know that I will continue to be a work in progress. However I am confident that God, who has begun a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it. Christ just simply calls me to believe and rest in Him to lead me in life, whether it be through shouting matches with my roommate, deciding about graduate school, or even walking into a new relationship. All He is asking for me is to trust in the Savior that He is.
Oh, did I mention that I'm flying out to San Diego tomorrow evening?
Pray for me.
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1 comment:
in my experience, if God is dealing with me about something, He'll put me in a situation where i will be tested in that area. i will be dealt in that over and over again until i pass the test.
always ask God for His grace.
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